defining myself part 2

Everyone has moments in their lives that define who they are. Points in their lives that determine what kind of human being they become.

I've had many that have contributed to who I am.

I had an uncle who was cheated on, emotionally battered and bruised. He went through rough patches after his divorce but became a better man because of it. I can remember him constantly regretting the life he should have had with his 2 kids, but never did it deter him from wanting more for his kids. He was the best father he was allowed to be.

I learned from him, no matter what happens, good or most of the time bad, that there is always an upside. And just because you are limited, it doesn't mean that you just do enough. You try to do more, even if you can't.

Growing up, my parents would help relatives less fortunate. Help them get on their feet as we all had this new journey in America. So I had uncles and cousins living with us. My favorite uncle, my dad's cousin, lived with us for awhile. The same time my cousin, my mom's niece. And as fate would have it they fell in love. I saw how their love blossomed. I remember how he would do anything for her. One night she became ill. Probably the worst stomach ache I had ever seen someone endure. He tried all sorts of remedies. The effort he put forth just to comfort her. I didn't understand why he did so much just for a stomach ache, but the day of their wedding, it all came full circle.

It may have just been a stomach ache, but you do what you can and all that you can for the one you love. The sweat and tears you sacrifice for that special someone is not effort, but a duty that should never be waited for. You just do it because its right, and right from the heart.

I grew up within an ethnic culture. It may have occurred more outside of my home, but I rarely saw my father or uncles or cousins disrespect women. My father loves my mother. Sure, there were times she was belligerent to what was right, or was too outspoken not knowing there were different ways to handling certain things. But he never once disrespected her. Physically or emotionally. My father showed patience and understanding and I know he swallowed his pride, bit his tongue even though he was right. Maybe to not hurt her feelings or maybe he knew that sometimes its just best not to say anything at certain times.

I can only try to be half as patient as my father. As much as you know you are right, you still pick your battles. If its just a simple argument. A discussion. It never has to be blown up to something that can be avoided.

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